I tried for a long time to drill this into my lil bird’s head when she started dating. Be your true self – not some cheap romance novel version.
I am not a fan of the ‘bait-n-switch’ approach to building relationships. The shit always hits the fan, the mask flies off, and then Prince Charming is standing in front of Cruella de Vil wondering what the fuck just happened. Only now he’s traded his Prince Pad for a 3.5 bath in Wrongville. Dayuum!
I’ve seen the reverse far too many times as well. King Arthur turns out to be Sir Liesalot as soon as the drawbridge is up and Sleeping Beauty is looking for Liquid Draino to put in his coffee.
I came out of the gate being myself when meeting the hunters & gatherers of my generation. It wasn’t pretty. That’s for damned sure. But, I wasn’t willing to play dress up to get a date for homecoming. By that time, I wasn’t lonely. I had turned out to be pretty damned good company all by myself. So, it was take it or leave it, Buddy. That was the deal from the get go. It’s worked out pretty well for me.
I laugh now thinking about the first fissure that formed between me and my Southern Baptist instructors. All I’d asked was what’s the big deal with taking a relationship for a cohabitation spin before you slip a ring on it and call it golden. You take your cars for test drives before you buy them and they aren’t expected to last a lifetime.
Not the kind of inquisitive mind they were hoping for.