Moves

I often move to the edge,

where I can stand and

simply observe a while –

for in this game,

my next move will

most certainly be

determined

by theirs


I learned quite young, it was difficult to recognize the perfidious players while I was caught up in the hustle of the game myself.

The players can all look and sound alike. They can use familiar words, yet have an entirely different set of rules guiding their play. Or for that matter – none at all.

Ah, but when I take a step back – to where I can see the whole board – they’re really quite hard to miss. That always makes my next move quite clear.

36 thoughts on “Moves

  1. I am crap at chess. Or was.
    Maybe I should take it up again now that I’m more savvy in the game of life, whom I need to be wary of and so on.
    I am playing to be myself. I am afraid of playing to win, as it implies someone loses. And that’s when I fear karma might come to bite my ass.
    I prefer to play my tune, and hope I can find players who’ll play in harmony with me πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

      • I know it’s not. I guess I don’t like the idea of someone having to lose for me to win. If we can all win… then great! (And I was very competitive as a younger girl, in sports at least, academics came so easy for lucky little me that I didn’t need to play, I was already winning. Yeah, I was really lucky!).
        I like your idea of playing to win against myself. Or at least against my ego. I’ve been trying hard for a long time. Still an ongoing battle. But I can feel progress πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have always believed that I am my only competition. I have also always believed that losing isn’t a bad thing either. It’s good for teaching humility from time to time.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I agree. I guess it’s the feeling of shame that I have learnt to associate with losing that I dislike tremendously. Complicated stuff, Too complicated for my poor mind tonight. :/

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mine have been hitting closer to home, I think. But it’s also a matter of love and respect. and it hasn’t seemed to be too great.
        Maybe we, as a species, need to disappear, and the world will be better off?
        I saw a short video today…

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know. I am resigned to take it as it is. At least I’ll be surrounded with those I love, or I will move back to be within them and them within me. It must not be unpleasant πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ha! Yeah, vast subject.
        When I read this word, I am reminded that this is one of the things my ex reproaches me, and showed my kids to show them how horrible a person I am.
        I know, in my heart of hearts, that what I did was not a good thing. But it was a survival need for me.
        I guess the ex had been cheating in so many other ways, it was my only way to finally learn to hold my head high again.

        The funny thing is, I know you didn’t intend it that way. But reading this word still hurts an awful lot. I guess I still haven’t completely forgiven myself. Sigh!

        Liked by 1 person

      • You’ve always known how I feel about cheating of any kind. I’ve never hidden my thoughts about it. They are feelings that applies to ME only and as it relates to relationships in MY life.

        Darling, I might be anti-cheating but I am not necessarily anti-cheater. That’s because I can not possibly judge another’s need to save themselves or how they do it. I’m not God.

        Having said that, there are types of cheaters I will NEVER tolerate and that has to do with them as human beings in general. That’s not going to change.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know. I am certainly not pro-cheating. I much prefer the openness of what I have now. πŸ™‚
        I would have loved that before, but it was out of the question for reasons that were not my own.
        There are cheaters who do it to spite their significant other. I couldn’t stand that, the sort of human being they are.

        I guess that is where I see a difference (trying to find reasons to talk me out of being a meanie?) with what I did. I never did it to hurt anyone, I did it to save myself. Once I realised that there was a life outside of what my ex was offering, I decided to opt out of that marriage and get on with my life. I don’t think I could have cheated for long while trying to lie to the world about my family/marriage.

        Oh well! πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know you did! And it took you to freedom. I don’t believe you would do it either. It ties back to the fact for me that if I have to lie to get what I want, I’ll have to lie to keep it – I don’t anything that bad.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, same for me. It’s also much easier to live your life lie-free. My ex knew it, when he told his lawyer that I would never deny it, because I wouldn’t lie, so he could use it against me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, the biggest lie I ever told was to myself, that I was in love with a man who loved me. I’ve known it all along that he didn’t, and I wasn’t. Deep inside, I knew it. I can’t tell my kids that, not now. They still need to believe they were conceived out of love. At least the younger ones.
        And they were, in a way. I was in love with them before they were even conceived. Or at least as soon as I knew they were.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I MEAN EVERY ONE OF THEM! You are healing and that will heal them as well. I love my mother but she didn’t even try to heal from the wounds and I know that is why my sisters and I had such a fight to find our own ways.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know. I told my Mom that the only thing she could have done differently to make my life easier, different, would have been to divorce earlier. So that’s done, no need to go back over it. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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